How To Potty Train A Boy.

Step 1: Let him pick out his very own big boy underwear.. Since it's what his big sister calls her underwear, try not to laugh hysterically every time he calls his underwear "panties". (be aware you'll probably fail at not laughing.)

Step 2: The next morning, put the potty in the living room in front of the television, and turn the TV to the Disney Channel.

Step 3: Two hours later of him sitting half naked, happily watching Ooh and Aah (the monkeys), change the TV to "The Price Is Right" so you don't lose your sanity to overthinking the plot lines of "My Friends Tigger and Pooh".

Step 4: Now that he has a nice red ring around his butt, give up and put him in a diaper.

Step 5: 15 minutes later, change said diaper since it's already soaked to breaking point.

Step 6: Tell boy that Disneyland only lets big boys in if they don't wear diapers, so we can't go if he doesn't start using the potty.

Step 7: Change another diaper.

Step 8: Put him in panties big boy underwear and put him on the potty every 15/30/45 minutes, whichever you want to set your timer to.

Step 9: Clean up the accident in the kitchen that occured 2 minutes before/2 minutes after boy sits/sat on the potty and comfort boy who is wierded out that his leg magically got all wet.

Step 10: Tell boy that Thomas/Lightning McQueen on his panties big boy underwear doesn't like to get wet, so we have to put the peepee in the potty. Boy nods.

Step 11: Clean up accident on carpet and again comfort boy who doesn't understand why it keeps raining on his legs. Let boy apologize to Thomas/Lightning McQueen as you put panties big boy underwear in the growing lump of mini clothes needing washing, despite just doing them the night before.

Step 12: Slap a diaper on that big-little boy butt and admit defeat for another day/week/month.


Apparently my children aren't fans of potty training before turning 4, or at least that's what I feel like we're on track for. But they're so freaking cute and wierd, I think I'll keep them anyways.