Okay, I posted this on one of my "imaginary friends" sites, but I didn't think I was brave enough to do it here. But since I figured out who my stalker was (it's so NOT the other way around, MaryBeth totally follows me everywhere), I figure I should post this. Maybe then she'll see just how whack my family is and be done with me. (Which would secretly make me sad, because who doesn't like a stalker? Plus she has a wicked sense of humor, it's like a twofer in a stalker!)
We went to Target with Kim and Isaac like we do all.the.time, and we'd just had a snack at their food court, so the kids had their lemonade still as we were walking around. I made the mistake of putting M's lemonade by J in the seat of the shopping cart, forgetting that he likes--no, LOVES to play with cups. J takes it and drops it over the side of the cart, spilling lemonade all over the aisle floor. Luckily we're in the camping aisle in the back corner of the store, so no one around us. M gets upset and starts saying that she wants more lemonade, and I tell her "when we leave we'll get some more lemonade for you". Thinking that's the end of it, I move the cart forward so I'm not standing in lemonade and I'm talking to Kim about what I should do, whether to just scram from the aisle or be a good customer and call someone to clean it up, then I notice M isn't beside me, not a good sign.
She's freaking on her hands and knees, licking up the stupid lemonade from the floor. I let out a high-pitched screech, one that I probably couldn't imitate if I tried, yank her up, and book it out of the aisle, not stopping til we're at least five aisles away, where Kim finally catches up as she's still trying not to laugh hysterically.
Oh, and M was completely furious at me that I didn't let her "lick up" the lemonade. Apparently she was really thirsty.
I've got stellar mothering skillz, no doubt.