Wednesday, August 19, 2009

To A 5 Year Old

Dear Miss M,
Well, we survived another year of each other. Happy 5th birthday, stinker pinker.
We've had a rough go of it sometimes this year, I think from both of us still trying to find our place in this world. You've tested me and pushed me, and I'm pretty sure I've done the same to you, but at the end of the day, you still smoosh my face, plant a wet one on me, and say "I love you, momma". It amazes me how quickly you can forgive and forget things, especially wrongs I've done to you. It must be hard, being the firstborn in a family, because you're basically the test run for everyone else, but you handle it with grace for the most part. You definitely have your moments, don't get me wrong. When you get really mad you jumble up your words and get even more frustrated, and come out with some great one liners like "I'm in a time out!" "it's not your fault, momma!". You never seem to lose it on non-family though, which amazes me. You still have such an innocence to you, you can't even seem to fathom when someone is being mean or rude to you, you just brush it off as if it wasn't at you. I wish I could be like that. I feel so protective of you still, but you're so big that people think you're older than you are, and expect more out of you for it. I feel like carrying around a sign that says "She's only 4(now 5), and yes, she has a speech delay. Please be nice." but that would be a disservice to you and your spirit. You catch on to things so much faster than I realize, and I need to learn to let you fly, even if there are some bumps and branches in the way.
Even though you fight, P just loves you. I love walking by your room before you've fallen asleep, and hearing you two playing or talking, or just sitting together reading a book. I hope you stay close as you both get bigger, you could be such great friends. And J just always wants to play with you two, wherever you are, he wants to be. You're SO good with him too, when we go on walks and he doesn't want to hold my hand he'll always willingly hold yours. You can be protective of him, and I hope as you all get older, that role is reversed and he and P protect you from any dumb boys who don't treat you well.
You've always been such a daddy's girl, and this year it's the same. I know you love me, but there's something about daddy... he loves you so much, and I know he worries as much as I do about how you're doing, especially now that you're in Kindergarten. Are you being shy and quiet, like you always are at first, in new situations? Are the other kids being nice, even if your words don't make complete sense sometimes? You got a great teacher, so we're hopeful... but still. We're parents, we worry.
I can't believe you're 5 years old, sometimes it feels so close since I woke up in the hospital, still very sleepy and out of it, and someone handed me this wrapped up bundle of squirm. You started to whimper and even though I was ready to nod off again, I started stroking your feet and saying "it's okay, it'll be okay", and you calmed down. It amazed me! Those first few days were such a blur, what a way to come in the world, but that's you, making an entrance. I also remember waking up the next day and there was your daddy in the rocking chair, holding you and just staring, stroking your hand. He wasn't even saying anything, just staring at you with this look of complete awe. It's a look I'll never forget, ever.
Happy 5th birthday, bubbas. I lovah lovah love you so very much.

(t-shirt by the lovely, awesome Miss Katey, click to see her cool knitting blog!)

Monday, August 17, 2009


7 years ago CJ and I were married. Whoa...
Yep, it's been seven crazy, beautiful, stressful, wonderful, lovely, interesting, travelling, moving, laughter-filled years.
We were sealed in the Mount Timpanogos Temple at 6pm, a
nd I remember how packed CJ's "side" of the room was, and how there were like 3 people on my side. That's what happens when you're a convert from a teeny tiny family I guess. Don't ask me what the sealer said, or who cried, all I remember is kneeling across from CJ and just smiling the whole time, and trying not to laugh, because both of us were this.close to laughing. Sheer joy or hysteria, you choose.
We've never really had a song that was "us", but driving home from the gym this morning Uncle Kracker's new song "Smile" was playing. It was like the lyrics were written for us! So I played it for CJ and he actually agreed (he doesn't like to do that much on the first try, something about not wanting my ego to get too big?), and so, 7 years in, we finally have a song.

The lyrics:

You´re better than the best
I´m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow that´s right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it´s ok yeah it´s ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday nightYou make me dance like a foolForget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Even when you´re gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like birdDizzy in my head spin like a recordCrazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

Don´t know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a foolForget how to breatheShine like gold buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed sing like bird
Dizzy in my head spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold buzz like a beeJust the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh you make me smile

My favorite part is "Cooler then the flip side of my pillow", because CJ is constantly trying to
snag my (much better and more squishy comfy) pillow, and I love to sneak into bed before him and read a book/play on the iPod/watch TV before I go to sleep, and then switch to my side of the bed to fall asleep. Why? Because that way my side of the bed is still nice and cold for me when I'm ready to sleep. Mwahahah!
ANYWAYS, of course I had to do a scrap page for this momentous occasion: hitting our 7th anniversary and finally getting a song. Tah dah!

Happy 7 years, CJ. Here's to many, many more.

Monday, August 10, 2009

And Away She Goes...

I have a Kindergartener. *sniff* Excuse the overabundance of photos, but it's my blog and I'll be as cheesy sentimental as I want, and you'll like it. :D

Daddy putting on her brand new shoes...

Eating breakfast (toast, cereal and OJ, if you want to know)...
On the way to the bus stop...
"Are you still taking pictures, mother?" (yes, she really does call me that these days. I think it's from Aristocats) ...
Big girl...
Piggies and LPL bows for her first day...
A bit confused as to why there's a bunch of big kids at the bus too...
P was so sad that he didn't get to go to school too...
There goes my baby...
Watching the bus drive away...
We're lucky that there's about 4-5 other Kindergarteners in our neighbourhood. There were three of us moms sniffling, while CJ and Russ (our friend Laurel's cool husband, their son is in M's class) stood there making jokes about women or something. We all know they were crying like babies on the inside...

Her first day didn't start well. She managed to put her backpack in the wrong pile or something and lost it, so she didn't have any of her supplies or her lunch. Luckily her teacher is awesome and tried to help her find it, but they couldn't so they got her a hot lunch (cheeseburgers, applesauce and green beans, mmm). When she came home and got off the bus she started crying because of her bag, it was so sad! I'd held it together fairly well all day, but seeing her cry got me crying. I took her back to the school and asked the office, they hadn't seen it. We went and talked to Mrs. Wolfe, and she told me they'd looked and couldn't find it. So we went back home and I called the transport to see if maybe it was left on the bus. Nope. I took her back to the school once CJ'd gone to work and we walked all over the school looking, but nothing. :( Just as we got home from school I got a call from a 5th grade teacher who was just leaving her classroom, she found M's backpack outside her class!! Huzzah!!!! So as a relief treat, I took the kids to Wendy's. I needed a Coke at that point.

Next day we had dentist appointments for all the kids, so M didn't go on the bus to school. We had her go first in her appointment and she LOVED it (wierdo), and when she was done and I was driving her to school she said "I got my teeth cleaned, I got a new toothbrush, and now I'm going to school. This is the best day EVER!" Aww... made my heart happy!